Pattern glossary

The names for what just happened.

A reference for the patterns vera·you surfaces — drawn from the manipulation, abuse, and relationship-research literature. Having a name for something is often the first step toward seeing it clearly.

Dismissal & gaslighting

Blame-shifting

Control tactics

Direct harm

Structural patterns

Drawn from Gottman, Stark, Chan, Bancroft, and the broader manipulation and domestic-abuse literature. Having vocabulary is not the same as having a diagnosis.